As the anniversary of the beginning of First World War approaches, and the talk throughout Europe is of peace and reconciliation, one might have thought that traditional Anglo-German rivalries would be, temporarily, at least, laid to rest.
Sadly not. The German newspaper Bild has published a scathing portrayal of the British holidaymaker of such stunning rudeness that it’s tantamount to an act of war. In it, the innocent Brit is shown as drunken, stupid, overweight, lecherous, tattooed and sunburnt.
German paper attacks ‘drunk, stupid’ Brits | The Times
159599522__742806c.jpg (620×413)
Here are the links to the original piece from Bild Zeitung:
Wodka-Husten, Sonnenbrand und Dessous-Amnesie! Der englische Patient: Die BILD-Krankenakte - News Ausland - Bild.de
Britische Zeitung gibt zu: „Engländer im Urlaub SIND hässliche, besoffene Prolls!“ - News Ausland - Bild.de
With the German newspaper reflecting the British reaction:
Nach BILD-Cartoon zum „Englischen Patienten": Und so gehen die Deutschen … in den Urlaub! - News Ausland - Bild.de
„Ein Akt nackter Aggression“: Briten regen sich über BILD-Artikel auf! - News Ausland - Bild.de
The Daily Mail seems to agree with the German perception:
JAN MOIR: The Germans are right: Brits on holiday ARE ugly, drunk vulgarians
August at last! High summer is here, the sun is shining and millions of holidaymakers across Europe and beyond are heading for the beach.
But - uh oh - what is this? Before you can tie a knotted hankie onto your head and expose a pair of white winter knees to the ultraviolet, Germany has fired the first salvo in the annual Brit-Kraut seaside offensive.
This week in the pages of mass-selling German tabloid newspaper Bild, they launched a rather damning attack on the failings of British holidaymakers.
Scroll down for video
Salvo: The Germans have launched the first blast of summer via a damning attack on British holidaymakers
Taken? German newspaper Bild overlooked the national sun-lounger nabbing habit to criticise Brits abroad
According to them, we are stupid, overweight, lecherous, drunk, ugly, flesh-spilling vulgarians who despoil any resort we crash land in, like a shower of reprobate meteorites. We are a pestilence upon the fleshpots of Europe, a scourge upon good living folks everywhere, uneasy on the eye.
Bild even go as far to say that scrofulous Brits behave so badly abroad that we must be ill in some way. They helpfully identify a range of national ailments, including vodka cough (too much cheap booze), pink skin disease (so drunk we forget to apply sun cream) and balcony leg, caused by leaping out of hotel rooms into the swimming pool (also when drunk).
Well, excuse me. Ahem, ahem. It’s not as if the Germans are entirely without their own holiday flaws.
For a start, two words. Sun loungers.
It has become a cliche that any Germans in your hotel or holiday complex will get up before dawn in order to bag the best sun loungers by the pool. A cliche, yes, but only because it is true.
Covering us in glory: When out on holiday, Brits often drink to excess and drop down to sleep anywhere
While we’re at it, need I mention the rapacious Germanic devouring of hard boiled eggs at the buffet breakfast, leaving none for everyone else? I need not. And they are no slackers themselves when it comes to enthusiastic beer consumption.
Worst of all, if there is a man walking stark naked along the shoreline on any family beach from here to Hyeres, jauntily displaying his frankfurter and potato salad for all the world to see, you can bet your last pretzel that he will be a naturist of the German persuasion.
Infamy: A young woman who performed sex acts on dozens of men for a cocktail, pictured, has helped make 2014 a vintage year for Brits misbheaving
Yet the Bild article skates over any German failings, insisting that the British are the worst tourists by far.
And the terrible truth is, they are right. A thousand percent correct.
How I cringe at the Brits on holiday, and the awful impression of us they give to the outside world. Terrible manners, bulging-eyed drunkenness and knickers ahoy lechery, all of it fuelled by a Bacardi Breezer or nine.
And that’s just in the departure lounge. Once they actually reach Abroad, something apocalyptic happens in the British psyche; a bomb goes off in the brain. Behaviours that would be unthinkable in our own city streets suddenly become commonplace, emphasis on the ‘common’.
Our women don’t wear underwear. Our men take their clothes off in public. They fornicate in the street like dogs, they vomit into gutters, they sleep it off.
Then they get up, have a full English fry-up and do it all over again until jail or multiple organ failure, whatever comes first. They are a total embarrassment, an affront to us all.
And already, badly behaved Brits are making 2014 a vintage year.
In Magaluf, the Carnage club nights have become the stuff of tabloid legend. A video showing an 18-year old girl performing sex acts on a number of fellow Brits, in return for a free cocktail, has gone viral. I honestly feel sorry for her, the silly, idiotic teen.
In my book, the creepy men who took part and took advantage of her are much, much worse. They should be ashamed of themselves, but there is scant chance of that. There is no place for shame and dignity on Costa Calamity when the Brits are around.
Even the local Spanish council became so scandalised by the ensuing international disgrace that they have fined the owners involved and are threatening to close down the venue. They have also made some new rules. Now Carnage organisers have to be registered and wear hi-viz vests at all times. Yes, that should really clamp down on the alcohol-fuelled filth.
Where are all the grown-ups in this? Tragically, they are over on the Spanish party island of Tenerife, which has become a haven for thousands of Brit OAPs blowing their pensions and catching STDs from each other.
Bar crawl: Pictured is the aftermath of a messy Carnage club night in Magaluf
A Channel 5 documentary showed seventysomething UK holiday makers hiring strippers and downing tequila slammers as if they were Sanatogen shots. Age does not always bring wisdom.
Even Prince Harry was filmed naked on his travels, larking around playing nude pool in his Las Vegas hotel room.
No other nation on earth behaves as badly as the worst of the Brits. It’s as if the British take collective leave of their senses when they collect their luggage from the carousel and head to the nearest bar.
The tragic thing is they think they are fun party animals - but the rest of the world sees us as drunken bores.
Appropriating sun loungers seems like small beer in comparison.
JAN MOIR says 'The Germans are right: Brits on holiday ARE ugly, drunk vulgarians' | Mail Online
This is a more nuanced response from the Guardian:
Sun, sea and insults; are Britons the world's worst tourists? | UK news | The Observer
.
.
.
No comments:
Post a Comment