Jay Doubleyou: how to negotiate
Jay Doubleyou: the psychology of negotiation
And there are the subtleties of persuasion:
Jay Doubleyou: propaganda, public relations and manufacturing consent
Jay Doubleyou: the men who made us spend
Jay Doubleyou: the men who made us spend: part two
Jay Doubleyou: social engineering
Is it about 'control'?
Abraham Hicks ~ The Power of Influence vs Control - YouTube
Or is it about 'influence'?
> Persuading:
But the arts of reason and logic might simply lead to debate and argument - or not being taken seriously.
> Asserting:
Rather than giving reasons, firmly and politely insist on your position - but this might be interpreted as being 'pushy'.
> Bridging:
'Pull' your partner in by asking what they want - by elaborating/summarizing how they see things - by focussing on them and not giving your own position.
By listening, you can tailor your target and make your goals more realizable.
And after you have listened, your partner should now listen to you
This is the 'Situational Influence Model':
Articles - Using Influence to Build a Corporate Culture of Trust and Open Communication
But these techniques can be open to abuse:
The Uses (and Abuses) of Influence
An Interview with Robert Cialdini by Sarah Cliffe
Robert Cialdini, considered the leading social scientist in the field of influence, was initially drawn to the topic because he saw how easily people could step over an ethical line into manipulation or even abuse.
His 2001 book Influence, which laid out six principles of persuasion, was eloquent about the dangers of persuasive techniques in the wrong hands. A best-selling article he wrote for HBR the same year, “Harnessing the Science of Persuasion,” looked at the positive side of persuasion: how managers could use those principles to run their organizations more effectively.
Cialdini: People will help if they owe you for something you did in the past to advance their goals. That’s the rule of reciprocity... Get in the habit of helping people out, and — this part’s really important — don’t wave it away when people thank you. Don’t say, “Oh, no big deal.” We’re given serious persuasive power immediately after someone thanks us. So say something like “Of course; it’s what partners do for each other” — label what happened an act of partnership. With that prework done, a manager who subsequently needs support, who needs staffing, who maybe even needs a budget, will have significantly elevated the probability of success.
The Uses (and Abuses) of Influence - Harvard Business Review
Cialdini's theory of influence in based on the principles of reciprocity, commitment and consistency, social proof, authority, liking, and scarcity.
6 key principles of influence by Robert Cialdini[edit]
- Reciprocity – People tend to return a favor, thus the pervasiveness of free samples in marketing. In his conferences, he often uses the example of Ethiopia providing thousands of dollars in humanitarian aid to Mexico just after the 1985 earthquake, despite Ethiopia suffering from a crippling famine and civil war at the time. Ethiopia had been reciprocating for the diplomatic support Mexico provided when Italy invaded Ethiopia in 1935. The good cop/bad cop strategy is also based on this principle.
- Commitment and Consistency – If people commit, orally or in writing, to an idea or goal, they are more likely to honor that commitment because of establishing that idea or goal as being congruent with their self-image. Even if the original incentive or motivation is removed after they have already agreed, they will continue to honor the agreement. Cialdini notes Chinese brainwashing on American prisoners of war to rewrite their self-image and gain automatic unenforced compliance. Seecognitive dissonance.
- Social Proof – People will do things that they see other people are doing. For example, in one experiment, one or more confederates would look up into the sky; bystanders would then look up into the sky to see what they were seeing. At one point this experiment aborted, as so many people were looking up that they stopped traffic. See conformity, and the Asch conformity experiments.
- Authority – People will tend to obey authority figures, even if they are asked to perform objectionable acts. Cialdini cites incidents such as the Milgram experiments in the early 1960s and the My Lai massacre.
- Liking – People are easily persuaded by other people that they like. Cialdini cites the marketing of Tupperware in what might now be called viral marketing. People were more likely to buy if they liked the person selling it to them. Some of the many biases favoring more attractive people are discussed. See physical attractiveness stereotype.
- Scarcity – Perceived scarcity will generate demand. For example, saying offers are available for a "limited time only" encourages sales.
His seminal 1984 book, Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion, was based on three "undercover" years applying for and training at used car dealerships, fund-raising organizations, and telemarketing firms to observe real-life situations of persuasion.
Robert Cialdini - Wikipedia, the free encyclopediaHow to Apply the Tool
You can use these principles whenever you want to influence or persuade others.
First make sure that you understand the people in your audience and that you know why you want to influence them. Think about your ultimate objectives, and decide which principles will be most useful in your situation.
We'll now explore some strategies you can use with each principle.
Reciprocity
Our article on the Influence Model takes an in-depth look at how to use reciprocity to gain influence.
Commitment
Here, try to get people's commitment early on, either verbally or in writing.
Social Proof
You can use this principle by creating a "buzz" around your idea or product.
Liking
To build good relationships , ensure that you put in the time and effort needed tobuild trust and rapport with clients and people you work with, and behave with consistency.
Develop your emotional intelligence (EI) and active listening skills , and remember that there is no "one-size-fits-all" approach when it comes to relating to others.
Authority
Here you can use both your own authority, and the authority of others, as influencers.
When you use your own authority, be careful not to use it negatively. Our article on French and Raven's Five Forms of Power has more on different sources of power, and explains how you can use power and authority positively.
To use authority, get support from influential and powerful people, and ask for their help in backing the idea. (Use Influence Maps to help you network with people who can help.)
Scarcity
With this principle, people need to know that they're missing out if they don't act quickly.
Warning:
Be careful how you use the six principles – it is very easy to use them to mislead or deceive people – for instance, to sell products at unfair prices, or to exert undue influence.
When you're using approaches like this, make sure that you use them honestly – by being completely truthful, and by persuading people to do things that are good for them. If you persuade people to do things that are wrong for them, then this is manipulative, and it's unethical. And it's clearly wrong to cheat or lie about these things – in fact, this may be fraudulent.
A good reputation takes a long time to build. But, you can lose it in a moment!
Resisting Influence
You can also use this tool when others are trying to influence you.
In these situations, bear the following points in mind:
- Before accepting a free gift or a discounted service, or before agreeing to hear confidential information, ask yourself whether you're going to feel obliged to give the same or more in return. Should you decline, so that you don't feel indebted?
- Before agreeing to a course of action, even at a very preliminary level, think about the consequences of your decision. Will you feel so invested in this new course of action that you won't want to change your mind?
- Though everyone else is pursuing a particular route or buying a product, it may not be right for you. Avoid falling victim to the "herd mentality." You might decide that it's best to go against the trend.
- When you feel tempted to buy a product or sign up for a service, ask yourself whether you've fallen under the spell of a particularly likable salesperson. Is the salesperson similar to you, familiar to you, or extremely complimentary?
- Carefully note your reaction to authority figures. Has the person you're negotiating with triggered your respect for authority? Are you making your choice because you want to, or are you swayed by an "expert" opinion? And does this person genuinely have the authority he is implying, or is he merely using the symbols of that authority?
- Before you fall for a sales pitch claiming that a product is running out of stock or that a discount deal is soon to expire, think again. Do you really want or need the product now, or has its lack of availability caught your attention?
Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion: Amazon.co.uk: Robert B., PhD Cialdini: Books
There is the PPI programme based on these ideas:
PPI Programme | Positive Power and Influence
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